Reader response:
I’m an African American woman in my late 20s. I worked my way through my undergraduate degree and finally received it just as the recession started. As a result, few people were hiring then. So, after spending nearly 2 years volunteering and helping out my family in whatever ways I could I headed to graduate school (a decision that I now consider to be the worst decision I’ve ever made). I’m nearly finished with that degree and after a year of being a graduate teaching assistant in my program, personal reasons dictated that I relocate closer to my family. As a result I’ve spent the last year unemployed. I recently began working part-time at a big box store–on the sales floor making what I made at my last retail job 5 years ago–and I’m probably the most educated person in the store. I can’t get a management position because I don’t have enough experience in retail–so I’ve been told on several interviews. Apparently, teaching adult students–both in the classroom and as a volunteer tutor–are not skills easily transferred to the training of adult workers in a retail store.
I’m starting to feel like something is wrong with me internally. I know that I’ve made some poor decisions in my life (getting a graduate degree in women’s studies is the biggest among them), but I’m still out here trying. I’ve applied to literally hundreds of jobs, and for all of those hundreds of jobs I’ve had maybe four interviews. Only one of those jobs paid a human wage. I’m not asking for much. I would just like to make $30,000 a year. At least that way I could afford to sleep on a bed again. Did I mention that I haven’t slept on a real bed in over a year? I go out of my way to help people, not because I want something from them, but because I’ve always been this way, and when I need something (and I don’t usually ask for help), no one is ever there to help me.
It’s sad to know that if I didn’t have to work my way through school and take extra time, I’d probably have a job now. It was that extra year that put my entry-level job search in the recession’s beginning. I look at my peers who are getting married and having children and generally living life and it’s depressing. They’ve got jobs, health insurance, relationships, homes; I don’t even have a real bed to sleep on.
So people can criticize the educational choices that I’ve made. I’ve criticized myself more severely than anyone else can. I know my graduate degree was an awful, awful idea. Especially since my research ideas didn’t get much traction in the department. People can say that I should have become a nurse, or an engineer or whatever else, but when I started college and the economy was still good young people were sold the idea that they should ‘follow their passions’. The jobs were supposed to come. I didn’t take out a mortgage for a property I couldn’t afford; I didn’t participate in credit default swaps or create a Ponzi scheme. I went to college and educated myself. I’ve spent countless hours at libraries educating myself. I’ve taken care of sick relatives and taught immigrants how to read and write in English–with no pay. But I’m not responsible enough to run a retail store. I could have spent those hours drinking or partying or whatever else, but I’ve spent them trying to ‘improve’ myself in different ways because I seriously feel like I’m damaged goods. Why else can’t I pin down a full-time job with some benefits?
I hope someone can find something of value in my words.
Source: The Atlantic, Aug 2011
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